Letting Go Is Easier Than Holding On

Hi Guys,

When I created this blog, it was to free my mind and to let my thoughts run wild across a page. But, at the same time, I wanted this blog to be a safe space, not just for me, but for my readers too. I had images in my mind of this being a way for people to break free from the pressures of every day life, whatever they may be. Therefore, know that even though most of my posts are light hearted, this space is also a place for people to feel safe and to de-stress.

This brings me on to what I want today's post to be about, as it is something quite relevant to my life at the moment.

As a person, I find that I think about certain things too much, one of those things being; caring about what people think. There I said it - I'm a people pleaser! But I believe that this is a trate most humans have and is something quite nice about a person. However, it can lead, especially for me, to holding onto things that no longer need holding onto.

I had a falling out with a close friend quite recently and now we no longer talk. But I don't think that one falling out is capable of breaking a friendship. What I think, is that my friendship with this girl had cracks in it and as time went by, we drifted apart and were still trying to hold onto a relationship that wasn't there, because we were being loyal to the people we used to be.

I'm not a believer in the idea of people changing, I have more faith in the theory that people grow and develop into who they really are. So, over time, me and my friend, let's call her K, developed and in the end,were no longer compatible. I could tell that I annoyed her and, for me, she no longer had the same beliefs as I did and that was the problem.

Nearing the end, things became so fractious,that falling outs would occur often and I sometimes found the things she'd say,to be quite harsh and the words she used to speak to me, personally wouldn't have been the ones I would have chosen to talk to a friend. Let me tell you, I'm all for laying my cards directly on the table, but I also think that some things should be left unsaid,to keep the people I love happy and their feelings still in tact.

Despite me having issues with this and becoming upset, I never spoke to her about this and never ended the friendship. I feel like I should have told her that our time as close friends was running out and we no longer shared the same feelings about each other as we did when we first became friends. I should have ended the friendship, in the best way possible, whilst still remaining civil with her, instead of just blanking each other like we've barely ever spoken before.

I suppose the reason I never did those things, is because I was always hoping she would change and that our friendship would morph into what it was at the start. I was still holding onto the person she was a year ago and not the person she is now. I should have realised this sooner and let go a long time ago.

I'm glad that I've shared my story with you and I hope it's made some of you who are, perhaps, in difficult friendships or relationships realise that holding on is very hard and letting go, despite how daunting it may seem, is actually easier. If someone is making you unhappy, or you find yourself not relating to someone any more, just make the choice to move on, because the person who you need to make happy first - is yourself. Also, if you have just fallen out with someone and are finding the aftermath difficult because you miss that other companion or partner, think about what you're really missing. The friendship? Them? Or the person they used to be?

Lots of love to those who need it,
ThatGirlWhoBlogs

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